Self Introduction Part 2

 I became a mom on December 20, 2010.  It's been 6 months and it has been one crazy roller coaster ride.  Some days, my stomach sank with anxiety, on another day, my chest expanded with thrill and love for my son.  On D-Day, I was extremely exhausted like I had never felt before in my life.  I almost let the feeling of regret towards my son creep into my mind for giving me so much pain and agony from the delivery.  I gave no tears of joy when he showed up.  I didn't have that sort of emotion in me at all.  It was strange.  I thought I was supposed to have that emotional wave.  I felt like I was missing that emotion in my heart.  I was wondering, "Who is this little bundle of wiggling, wailing mass?"  But in the end, I was just so grateful that he had come out safely after 11 hours of stomach-wrenching labor.  I was also thankful for my husband staying with me all through out the labor and how he massaged my back and he even let me squeeze his hand in a painful, steel-like grip every time a wave of contraction would wash over me. 

I was and still am very grateful that my mother had come to Japan to help out before and after my son was born.  We went out and ate lots of great food before he was born.  My mother cooked for us everyday.  I was glad that she ate Japanese food that she can't eat while she lives in the U.S. and I got to eat lots of food that I normally never buy.  The night before I checked in the hospital, the 3 of us enjoyed a couple of hours of karaoke.  I suppose my son was ready to get out of his tiny and dark, watery cave after hearing me sing a couple of songs out of tune.

I am in the 6 month of motherhood and I've had its challenges, but it hasn't even started; I should remind myself that.  My son is growing rapidly and beautifully.  I can't imagine life without him now. My heart is filled with motherly love and I tell him that as a daily basis.  I also sing English songs with him whenever he is awake and alert.  He seems to like the ABC song a lot.  I sang it often when I was still pregnant with him last year.  Maybe he remembers it from then.